Jerry, you need to find god
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
