turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
