We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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