He felt like a one man threesome
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
