I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
