Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize