oh god the rape fog is back!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
