My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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