he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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