Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize