When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize