i jhust puked up my retainher.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
