$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
