She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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