My room smells like vodka and shame
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
