Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
