I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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