like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
operation harelip BJ is a go
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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