I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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