How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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