I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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