omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
