R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
