I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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