weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
