is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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