how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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