Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
