I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The beer is more important than you right now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
