How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
