he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We were destined to go to rehab together
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
