How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
