why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
