I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
