you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
