well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
