the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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