If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
as a side note pls kill me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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