I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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