ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
