Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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