what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
