Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
