is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
