I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
