You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
