FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
