the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
