If i come over, it means nothing
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
