I think i sorta joined a cult last night
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
