I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
