YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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