OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
