Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
