Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
