spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize