You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
time to smoke my breakfast
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
