Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
