Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
