So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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