i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i believe in u and ur pee
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