What did we do last night that was yellow?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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