I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
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