haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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