I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
