Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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